by Daniela on Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:04 am
I ask forgiveness of anyone that i may have hurt with my nasty remarks, or whatever. I dont make light of the amount of time and effort it takes to publish a blog on the internet, nor of the best intentions of each and every Jews who does. I would like to point out that I have paid a very high price, not on the internet but in real life, because of following the advice of a (I am sure, very well intentioned) observant jew, advice that i always have been believing it was absurd, but, despite searching everywhere - archive.org included - i have not found a single word of doubt from anyone else - which would certainly have been enough for me to go and check those words of advice with someone else (which i had been asked not to do). As I believe i had already written on the old board, I came from a background which not only was non observant, but, whatever observance there was (in old men mostly) it was not even aware of Chassidut, plus observance was somehow dry, and relation with G-d was non existant (it is easy to understand that a certain generation in europe had problems in relating with G-d in the usual terms, like a child trusting completely his father etc). This person, who overflowed with enthusiasm and talked of G-d all the time and - last but not least - was my first contact with Chassidut - after having convinced me that what i must do is what i must do, very easily succeeded in forcing me to do many things that I am ashamed of, and hurt the people i love, besides myself. I wish someone had taken the time to say a "nasty" word or two about this person being misguided and confused and not someone to turn to for reliable advice in sensitive issues, and that someone had stopped a moment to think that not everybody has an in-depth jewish education, and not everybody can in our days decide if something is reliable or not, if it is Torah or if it is the mind of the author, especially when the two of them are (in good faith of course) a little bit mixed up. I ask again forgiveness if I hurt anybody with my words.